Sunday, December 28, 2014

...I was supervising a little girl, morphed into a slick cat, traveling together searching for her mother. I had to hold her tightly because she would constantly slip from my grasp, run fast and disappear. On our journey, we encountered a variety of scenes: towns, mountains, oceans.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

...I was at a party playing music but when I opened my violin case, three of my four violin strings had been replaced by razor wire, an eggbeater, and a shoelace. I attempted to play anyway with disastrous results.

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

...I was on a king-sized bed naked and bathed in a bright light that made my veins appear as though they were outside my skin. They were large, blue, and puffy, and the light revealed dainty parasitic worms gracefully writhing around in my blood. I poked at them with my finger.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

I was covered with electric wires, carrying a tub of salsa and a back pack heavy as a bowling ball up a snowbank. I became lodged in a crevice and could not manipulate my body and devices so that I could free myself. I was worried that the lady in the office building above would see me.

Saturday, November 29, 2014

...there were people in a section of theater seats, suspended by ropes from the hull of a ship in the space where a rudder would be. An elegant knife-wielding woman in a sleek white gown opened a door above and cut the rope. The seats collapsed forward and ejected the people into the sea.

Friday, November 28, 2014

...I was strolling across a campus, blabbing on a phone, looking for escape, barriers forcing me to change direction. A graveyard terminating in a cliff edge, a dark, aurora borealis sky pulsating over a mountain range and a turbid sea. Engulfed by quicksand, I lost the phone.

Saturday, November 8, 2014

...I was on a loud, careening caboose, brilliant light and shadows, I did not feel afraid. I walked through some doors to the main car, no sense of movement, here, no windows. People meandered through the narrow hall and said hello to me by name.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

My Opinion of Dreams

Though I have no science to prove it, I think it obvious that dreams are films playing on the back of one's eyelids. With eyes shut, images are immediately apparent; add the flicker of the eye and voila! That's a film. The connection between dreaming and rapid eye movement would seem to support this theory.

My opinion of the content of dreams is that they are various and often trivial memories that are attached to these "films" .  The mind tries to make sense of it by creating a story.  I think the content and direction of the story is often, though not always, a reflection of the dreamer's dominant emotional schema.

In my case, the schemas that drive my dreams are anxiety based: "I just can't seem to get anywhere", "I am incompetent", "everyone has it good except me", "I try so hard but the world is against me", "I must protect and defend the vulnerable and fragile", etc.  I am attempting to change those negative, self-destructive and burdensome subconsciously imposed instructions that are so amplified in my dreams. The same feelings and schemas govern my day to day activities but are less exaggerated.

There are repeating themes and symbols in dreams that reflect this. Some of mine include compartments, messiness, clutter, small animals that are in danger that I must protect, endless mazes of catastrophe that I must navigate, also bizarre, complex machines, lots of nature, lots of people, I am often traveling but slowed down by obstacles or the own heaviness of my legs. They often "feel" the same: like there is doom afoot or like there is somewhere I need to go and cannot get there. They are nightmares in a way.

Now and then I'll have a calm dream: usually a dream where I am alone in some beautiful expansive natural setting, very clear, without all the clutter and small, confining compartments that are usually present. I used to have many lucid dreams that were also pleasant . These dreams were often triggered by a mundane detail that I noticed: a logo missing on my uniform, a grocery item in the fridge that I know I would never buy...then there would be the liberating realization that nothing was real and I could do what I wanted without consequence. If I was in the midst of taking responsibility for some horrible event, for example, I was suddenly released from the guilt and would often fly away.

Anyway, I decided to start recording my dreams though I 'm not sure why. To challenge myself, each dream, no matter how complex, must be described in no more than five lines, usually three. It helps me to catch the essence of the dream and the most important symbols without rambling on.